Same-Sex Marriage Ruling

In June the US Supreme Court ruled married same-sex couples were entitled to federal benefits. However, in a case out of California, on technical grounds, the Court declined to decide if same-sex couples had a constitutional right to marry. Neither ruling bars same-sex couples from marrying in states that permit such marriages, nor do the rulings lift bans on same-sex marriage in other states.

Just because the Court has given a victory to the gay-rights movement in terms of federal benefits, it doesn’t mean people’s minds have to be changed on the issue. The way I see it, the debate on same-sex marriage is in about the 3^rd inning.

Look at the abortion issue to see what I mean. Forty years ago the Court ruled abortions legal in all states. Roe vs. Wade only served to escalate the debate, galvanize the pro-life movement and today many states are stepping up the effort to push the issue further to the right.

The arguments for gay-marriage and abortion are fundamentally flawed because both put the rights of the adults ahead of those of the children. Adults create our laws and naturally have written them to benefit adults and the point of view of the child has been given too little weight. That’s wrong! This would be like the captain of the Titanic saying adults off first; leave the children behind. Children need to be thought of first.

You can see this clearly with the abortion issue. The abortion debate has devolved into what is best for the mother or “father”. Birth is not about the adults, but the life of a new child. In the case of abortion the mother and father walk out; the child is killed. If children made the laws, it is safe to say abortion would be illegal.

Looking at the same-sex marriage issue, we don’t have to look far to see what happens when society gets careless about the togetherness of parents and their raising of children. Just look at the divorce craze that began in the 1970’s. So called sociological experts of the “me” generation said if you aren’t happily married, leave your spouse, and all will be better off. As the trend unfolded, marriage was further trivialized with the onset of terms like the “starter marriage”.

Today what we see in the wake of the divorce craze are millions of broken families, millions more children and their offspring suffering from emotional and psychological issues that prevent them from reaching their potential in school, their careers and even their personal relationships. That’s what happens when marriage focuses on the adults and loses sight of the children.

Likewise, those advocating gay-marriage, it is all about them — the adults. The children are secondary. Just look at the recent Supreme Court case. It dealt with gay couples having a claim to their partner’s federal benefits. When the focus of marriage turns to the adults and adult issues, and it is no longer about the children, the children suffer.

I’m not saying anyone should remain in a marriage if one spouse is abusive or is cheating. Nor am I saying single parents families are a bad thing. For most of my childhood, I was brought up by a single mom. One parent is better than no parents, but I know first hand two parents are better for the child and his/ her development.

Gay advocates will say, but Janie has two loving moms. I guess that is better than no loving moms, but I would argue every child has a mother and a father. In turn, I believe the need for a mother and father, and being cared for by them is ingrained in our nature. Same-sex marriage and the families they create fall short here because children born from a donated sperm or egg are deprived of someone from whom they were originated, so the need to know them, be with them, and develop under their guidance is not met.

Like the divorce craze, years from now we’ll realize the ills of same-sex marriages, in particular, the adverse effect on the children of same-sex couples.

Am I opposed to same-sex marriage? Yes, but that is a expected consequence of what I’m for — our society defending, preserving and promoting traditional marriage made up of a mom, a dad and the offspring of those parents because that traditional family is mostly likely to put the development of the child first.